Derek's Father

Mr. Hoyt

Mr. Trapwell (segment "The Scoop")

Sidney Pomerantz

Sidney Pomerantz

Father Nestor

Sidney Pomerantz

Dr. Rochelle

Mr. Pike

Henry D. Hyde

Walter Warner Sr.

President Harris

Ford

Deputy Director Brown

The Judge

Unknown

Dr. Gordon

Dr. Karl Janss

Bob Ranier

Geoffrey Wiggins

Col. Mason

Sumner Murdock

Ron Sandler

Roger Philby

Ray Mellette

The Cat in the Hat / Narrator (voice)

Harry Tannenbaum

President

Willie the Wino

Willie the Wino

Willie the Wino

Elmo Tyson

Richard Simmons

Charlie Hume

Grandpa (voice)

Obstetrician

The Banker with Chris

Walter Maxwell (uncredited)

Mr. Watkins