Mike Sweazy

Winston Churchill

Dr. Dwayne Sotter

Mr. Biggles (voice)

Paul Jenkins

Professor Sharpe

Security Guy

Mr. Detweiller (voice)

'Whistling' John Shaw

Officer Stan Zajac

Coach Kloogie / Mr. Detweiler (voice)

Mailman

Ed

Bob Porter

Sales Guy

Pointing Guy

Deputy Zajac

Coach Kluge (voice)

Sloopy

Loquar

Beany

Paul Krapence

Ted

Bob Minkoff

Fred

Frank

Cook

Smith

Beany

Howard the Florist / News Reporter #2 (voice)

Mr. Michaels

Mr. Seeger

Grimsdyke

Stu

Marty Adelstein

Leonard Smith

Preacher

Various

T. V. Commentator

Bill

Various

Walter Gibbs

Unknown

Dr. Schroder

Man in Ticket Line

Abbey

Patient

Rob

Unknown

Improvisation Group

Tommy

Guerilla Theatre Troupe