Cardboard Cassonova

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01

6/13/1972

Brother Dear Brother

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02

Patrick's having the living room painted,but the painters start the job then leave to do another job at another house. Patrick's Mother phones to tell him that his Brother Phillip is in Hospital having his appendix removed, so Patrick goes to visit him. Phillip is talking to his girlfriend on the phone when Patrick arrives. Phillip has gin in the water jug & whisky in the ""toilet bottle"". He offers Patrick a drink but he declines. Sister asks to borrow his water jug for the patient opposite so he can take his pills, He takes a sip & drinks it all.! Phillip wants his gin back. Patrick goes to get it & slips on the pills the old man spilled on the floor. He falls onto a gurney & rolls out of the room & down the laundry shute. Visiting time arrives, Nanny & the girls visit Phillip & Patrick. Phillip thinks it's funny how Patrick fell down the laundry shute & landed on a hundredweight of dirty nappies. Patrick has to see the Doctor to examine him,he is embarassed because the Do

6/20/1972

The Opposite Sex

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03

6/27/1972

Unacustomed As I Am

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04

Patrick is invited back to his old school to give the 'Founders Day speech'. While rehearsing his speech on the tape recorder, Patrick is disturbed by the dooerbell. Basil Updike a fellow 'Old Boy' has heard Patrick's giving the speech & also wants him for the cricket team against the 'New Boys'. Patrick isn't in very good shape,so Basil helps him train every morning for a week. Anna finds Patrick's old cricket set upstairs & Basil returns for a bit of batting practise. (inside) What Patrick doesn't know is the girls & Nanny were playing with the tape recorder & Nanny sang a little song before they were interupted. As Patrick shows Nanny & the girls around his old school, Basil finds him & tells him it's time for the cricket match. While batting Patrick is hit in the throat with the ball & taken inside for first-aid. A former 'Old Boy' is now a vet & looks at Patrick. He has a swollen larynx & can't talk. Basil has an idea, why not mime to the tape recorded speech.! Patri

7/4/1972

Feud Glorious Feud

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05

Karen's not to keen on latest boy friend Timothy. She wants Patrick to tell her she's sick when he calls. (Karen & Tim were going to a ""Lady & the Tramp"" night.) Tim arrives dressed as a Tramp & Patrick thinks he really is one. Karen hints she has nothing to do, so Tim asks her to accompany him instead. Frank calls & tells Karen he can't make it because he feels sick. Karen is annoyed because Anna went out with Tim so now she's not speaking to her. When Tim arrives again to take Anna out Karen tells Patrick that Tim takes pictures of birds with nothing on.! Patrick arrives angry & looking for Tim. When he finds them he sees the naked bird is a chicken for a commercial. The model hasn't arrived so Tim asks Pat to model for the ad & will pay 30 pounds. Patrick agrees & dresses as a tramp. While on his way back from dressing room goes out wrong door & can't get back inside because Guard thinks he's a real tramp. When he gets in his car he doesn't have his keys & a passing 'B

7/11/1972

The Engagement

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06

Patrick has been invited to a garden party at Buckingham Palace. Timothy asks Anna to marry him. Anna tells him they have to find Patrick in a good mood before Tim can ask him for his Daughter's hand in marriage. Tim plays chess with Patrick & tries to lose but after 12 games gives up. All week Tim loses his nerve to ask Patrick until Anna insists on today. Tim invites Patrick to a restaurant but accidentaly leaves his wallet on the table, when he notices it's missing he rings Nanny & asks if one of the girls could bring it around. Nanny says no one is home so Tim sneaks out to go and get it. Meanwhile Patrick thinks Tim is in the toilet. When Tim arrives at Patrick's, Anna is there & urges him to call Patrick to ask him for permission to marry his daughter. Patrick still thinks Tim is in the toilet at the restaurant ! When Tim asks the big question & Patrick says yes Anna grabs the phone & thanks her father, Patrick thinks Anna's in the toilet with Timothy.!! He's

7/18/1972

Father Of The Bride

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07

Timothy arrives at Patrick's place after his 'Stag Night' drunk. Patrick lets Tim sleep it off on the couch. Next morning Tim has a dreadful hangover & Patrick mixes him a 'Hangover cure'. Tim has a headache & the aspirin pills get mixed up with the sleeping pills & Tim takes the wrong ones. When Bill & Barbara arrive, Bill takes Tim for a walk around the block to wake him up. Anna & Tim have found a flat nearby so they can move in after they come back from their honeymoon. After the wedding all the guests & family are gathered to hear the speeches & Anna announces that they have been 'gazumped'on the flat. Patrick hasn't lost a daughter he's gained another lodger. a BIG thank you to LB who made this synopsis possible.

7/25/1972