Two to the Fifth(2008)

Piers Anthony

Cyrus, a naïve young Cyborg, is in a curious quandary. His father, Roland Robot, expects him to become a leader of robots like himself. His mother, Hannah Barbarian, wants him to capture and marry a lovely wild-haired uncivilized woman like her. But Cyrus has a secret ambition of his own, which is likely to please neither of them—to write and direct plays.

Puzzled and perplexed, Cyrus sets out to present his dilemma to the Good Magician Humfrey, accompanied by his smart-ass companion, Don the Mechanical Donkey. But the Magician has troubling news for Cyrus. An imperious bird known as Ragna Roc is using his awesome magical powers to achieve total domination over the land of Xanth. Those who swear loyalty to him are spared. But those who oppose him are simply disappeared.

So powerful are Ragna’s sorceries that even the Good Magician Humfrey dares not confront him directly. Until the peril is dealt with, he cannot help Cyrus with his own problem. Instead he uses Cyrus’s own secret desires to advance a stealthy subterfuge—sending him out to gather a company of players to put on a play so beguiling it might cause Ragna Roc to let down his defenses.

Unaware that he has been created with a handsome countenance that is all but irresistible to all manner of femails, Cyrus is surprised when a bevy of beautiful maidens begins to gather around him. Among them are Tess Tosterone, a strapping young barbarian; Dusti, a horny horned Dust Devil; Xina, a lovely lass who changes her hair as often as she changes her mind; and Acro Nymph, a curvaceous sprite who plays with hearts as well as words. And hidden in disguise among the beautiful young actresses are the young princesses, Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm, whose combined magics might just be a match for the evil bird.

But Ragna has planted a spy in the midst of the troupe, who knows their deepest secrets, including the true nature of Cyrus’s forbidden love for one of the young princesses. Only a mysterious child called Kadence, and a cryptic clue—“Two to the Fifth”—may give the companions the edge they need to free Xanth from the tyrannical grip of the Roc’s deadly talons.